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Single and sad on the holidays! Now what?

Bah. Humbug. The weather outside is frightful and so is the holiday season when you’re single, right?

Not necessarily.

When you’re decking the halls solo you can feel like decking every happy couple you see. The majority of singles, men and women, contacting me for advice say they plan on sitting out for the holidays.

So you want to take a rain check for the holidays and miss out on all of that eggnog? No way.

Pay attention. Here’s the Lifestyle Passionista’s Guide to having a Fab & Single Hip Holiday.

1. DO leave the house.

This is not the time of year to stay home miserable and moping. As a matter of fact, there should be no time in your glorious life for feeling sorry for yourself, period. Wallowing in misery only begets more wallowing.

If you’ve been recently dumped or have sad family associations with this time of year, then do permit yourself a short pity party. Then, it’s time to jump back into life. And yes, this means turning off the TV and leaving the living room.

2. DON’T hang with friends who will belittle you.

Remember the “smug marrieds” dinner party scene in “Bridget Jones’ Diary?” Bridget breaks bread with a group of coupled-up jerks who spend the entire evening berating her. You don’t need people in your life whose sole glee is to mock you or point out, “this is why you’re single.”

Make a point of spending time with positive and fun people who enjoy you as much as you enjoy them.

3. DO get out and date.

My friend James thought that if he hadn’t met someone by Halloween he really couldn’t start dating until January. He was nervous about all of the awkwardness around seeing a new person during the holidays so he was just going to stay home and be lonely.

Look, sometimes in life things are awkward. That is never a reason to put your life on hold. This is a great time to meet new people. Folks are visiting from out of town and there are celebrations everywhere. Jump in and meet someone new online.

Dating site OK Cupid has a great app that will let you know who’s in your vicinity and down to grab some tea. HowAboutWe.com and Meetup.com help you easily meet new people who are into the same refreshingly odd activities that you enjoy.

4. DO throw a party.

Not in a mood to go out? Invite the party to you. Have a small get together, dinner party or blowout bash to celebrate life. Hang some mistletoe and tell your friends to bring even more friends. Plan a Secret Santa-style gift exchange. Mazel!

5. DON’T neglect yourself.

Sometimes when we’re the single friend, auntie or uncle we feel the need to overcompensate by going all out for everyone else. That’s great but don’t forget to pamper yourself. This is a great time to indulge in a little extreme self-care.

Go get a mani-pedi and massage. Soak in the tub. Go on a cruise if you can afford it. Take good care of yourself. You’re the only you the world has.

6. DO celebrate being single.

Being single is not some disease that has to be cured. Embrace and enjoy your single status. The last thing you want to do is date before you’re ready. This is the perfect time to plan the next year of your life. Be grateful for what you do have rather than what you don’t have.

Annoyed by all of those grinning family holiday cards and “here’s what we did this year” newsletters? Create a fun solo holiday card and put together your own “My Year in Review” newsletter.

7. DO Remember the point of the holidays.

The holidays are not about bragging rights for who has the most gifts or love. This time of year is about genuine joy and authentic connections. Whether you go to church, a temple, masque, Kingdom Hall or the bowling alley, focus on the miraculous beauty of the every day.

Your life is waiting for you. Step out and live like you mean it.

Merry Mazel Kwanzaa-kah Navidad!

Photo Credit: Damali Abrams